August 3, 2013

Subconscious Fear

My motto lately has been Not Letting Fear Lead My Life. 

I believe this will be my motto for the rest of my life as I am constantly battling fear everyday. I don't expect that to go away any time soon. 

Fear of what you might ask? Let me share a few of the things that run through my mind:

  • Fear of failure I think is one every one has
  • I have a fear of staying at home by myself. It's pretty ridiculous actually! I know this but still I struggle every time my husband leaves town.
  • Fear of losing some one I love. 
  • I have a terrible fear of fire. 
Another fear I have come to realize I have lately is a fear of success. Yes I know this sounds crazy but I honestly believe a lot of us have this fear. 

It is not something we are usually conscious of because who really thinks to themselves "I am afraid to be successful and have all that money and satisfaction!" NOBODY!

I believe this fear is subconscious. 

I have been reading a wonderful book called "The Fearless Mind: 5 Essential Steps to Higher Performance" by Craig Manning PhD

This book is actually based on sports... tennis to be exact. But the 5 principles it teaches apply to every situation in life. 
A statement that stood out to me last night was this:

"It has been my observation that people don't really give their dreams a chance. People talk about doing this or that, but few ever give it a go."

This is where I believe the subconscious fear comes in. Let me tell you my example:

I started this blog about 3 months ago. It was honestly something I had to talk myself into doing because it is really out of my comfort zone to share my writing and my personal thoughts with people. But I do not want fear to lead my life anymore so here I am. 

If I had not made this conscious decision to push my fear aside then my subconscious fear of failing at blogging and writing would have won!

Manning goes on to say:

"Research tells us that the few who do give it a go become high performers through perseverance over long periods of time. They maintain their focus on their objectives, set performance objectives they have direct control over, and evaluate their performance regularly --- and ultimately make their dreams reality."

I know that it will be A LOT of work to accomplish my dreams but I do not want to be one of the many that do not pursue them! 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!



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Comments (17)

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I hate staying home by myself too! So much that when we were first married and my husband had to travel, one of his friends came over and slept at our house so I wouldn't be a complete wreck. It's easier for me now, but I still hate it.
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1 reply · active 609 weeks ago
I am still bad! I usually go and stay at my parents when he leaves town. I really need to get over it!
This is an amazing post. I relate to it so well. I have so many fears that are played into both failure and success. I would love to read "The Fearless Mind: 5 Essential Steps to Higher Performance" I may have to go find me a copy.

Your writing and blogging style is lovely. I'm glad I came through today to read this. An amazing inspiration.
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1 reply · active 607 weeks ago
Thank you so much Dawn! That really means a lot!
I hope you stop by again soon :D
Keia
Great post. I too get the fear of success. Sometimes we just have to do what you did, push ourselves to do it. My husband often does that for me when he sees me pulling back out of fear. I just did a whole 3-part series on self-doubt and fear on my blog you might like and find helpful. Here's part 1 http://wp.me/p3C1vX-5m
My recent post How To End Unfocused Blogging
1 reply · active 607 weeks ago
oh yes I am excited to read your series! thank you for sharing :D
Keia
Leah Davidson's avatar

Leah Davidson · 608 weeks ago

Sounds like an interesting book! I think the fear of success is very real for many - including me. I sometimes have to push myself to "fake my confidence" and do what I want to do. Stopping by from SITS!
1 reply · active 607 weeks ago
I "fake my confidence" a lot too! Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and jump.
thanks for taking the time to say hello :D
Keia
The most amazing things happen when you face fear head-on and try something out of your comfort zone! Great post :)
My recent post {Friday Faves} Convos with My 2 Year Old
1 reply · active 607 weeks ago
Thank you Gracielle! I am so happy to hear you liked it :D
thanks for taking the time to comment!
Keia
Loved that I found you...I relate to so much of this and am actually going through a lot of it right now in my own life. I think maybe so many of us are afraid of success because ultimately we do have so much of a part in making our own realities. That can be liberating for some and terrifying for others. Recognize your life is YOURS and I feel like that helps so much.

Happy Saturday to you!
xoxo.

P.S. - Stopping by from the SITS Sharefest! :)
My recent post Being Brave Exactly Where You Are.
1 reply · active 607 weeks ago
I love that "recognizing your life is YOURS" that is a great way to look at it!
I'm very intrigued by your recent post as well! I'm heading over now :D
Keia
I have almost all the same fears and they consume me! It's hard not to let it. It's hard letting go of fear, and why I don't understand. You would think it'd be harder to hold onto it, but it's not.
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1 reply · active 607 weeks ago
yes it is so hard to let go! Even when you think you have conquered it it rears its ugly face again!
I hope we can both kick in the rear though :D
Thanks for taking the time to comment!
Keia
I can see truth to those statements! Heck, sometimes I think I almost sabotage myself in some of my goals out of fear. I am trying to change that in myself, along with realizing I need to take things a day at a time and enjoy the moments I am in. But I fear the unknown, and with the future being a big unknown, I find myself trying to chicken out of opportunities because I don't want to take risks. Thank you for sharing, you have me thinking ;)
2 replies · active 607 weeks ago
I am right there with you! I have had several opportunities come up that I have turned down because I was afraid of the risk and honestly that I wouldn't give it the time it deserved to be successful.

I hope we can both overcome this so we can achieve our goals & life dreams!
thank you for taking the time to comment it means a lot!
Keia
I am right there with you! I have had several opportunities come up that I have turned down because I was afraid of the risk and honestly that I wouldn't give it the time it deserved to be successful.

I hope we can both overcome this so we can achieve our goals & life dreams!
thank you for taking the time to comment it means a lot!
Keia

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